Barack - Baraka 2008. I should photoshop Obama's head onto Baraka's body. Baracka! Eh, have to go to work. Would someone do the photoshop for me? It would make me laugh.
Heh.
goochout.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
My superior immune system has been fighting off the virus that all of you have been trying to give to me. I won't be brought down. My immune system is like my penis: small but determined.
Wait... I just got chills. Am I getting sick, or just reacting to a bad penis joke?
Is there any truth to the story that Heath Ledger used to stare at bottles of prescription pills and say "why can't I quit you?"
gooch sucks.
Wait... I just got chills. Am I getting sick, or just reacting to a bad penis joke?
Is there any truth to the story that Heath Ledger used to stare at bottles of prescription pills and say "why can't I quit you?"
gooch sucks.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
I think I'm coming down with the same flu that twenty people had to tell me they had in person last week.
My friend bought me a couple of EasyMac cups because she heard me say I was "craving" them. Which, I was. Obviously, because I had them for breakfast. Since I'd survived on lettuce, flaxseed, and lean meats for the three weeks prior, this will hurt later.
I indulge in everything. The only difference between me and Chris Farley and John Belushi is that I jog. And they're funny. And they're rich. I'm pretty sure that if I was super rich, I'd be super dead. TMZ would screw up the story of my death, like they did with Heath Ledger about 50 times yesterday. Read their website, they leave the goofs in (commendable).
"...Mr. Gallucci was found naked, face down, on top of a stripper (who had no comment). Prescription Viagra bottles and empty cups of EasyMac macaroni and cheese were strewn about the apartment."
"This news report brought to you by Pfizer. And Kraft."
RIP Heath Ledger. You played such a good gay guy that it's a wonder Elton John hasn't reworked "Candle in the Wind" for you already.
goochout.
My friend bought me a couple of EasyMac cups because she heard me say I was "craving" them. Which, I was. Obviously, because I had them for breakfast. Since I'd survived on lettuce, flaxseed, and lean meats for the three weeks prior, this will hurt later.
I indulge in everything. The only difference between me and Chris Farley and John Belushi is that I jog. And they're funny. And they're rich. I'm pretty sure that if I was super rich, I'd be super dead. TMZ would screw up the story of my death, like they did with Heath Ledger about 50 times yesterday. Read their website, they leave the goofs in (commendable).
"...Mr. Gallucci was found naked, face down, on top of a stripper (who had no comment). Prescription Viagra bottles and empty cups of EasyMac macaroni and cheese were strewn about the apartment."
"This news report brought to you by Pfizer. And Kraft."
RIP Heath Ledger. You played such a good gay guy that it's a wonder Elton John hasn't reworked "Candle in the Wind" for you already.
goochout.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Safeway Chinese food... still resident inside me. Painful.
I had to reset my iPod today. It failed after a Nike+iPod workout, not recording my latest jogging endeavor. Hold down the center button plus the menu button at the same time? Sounds a lot like CTRL+ALT+DEL, if you aks me.
I say "aks" to ingratiate my urban fan base. By "urban fan base," I mean the two black guys banging on my front door as I write this. Who knew that prostitutes would be so touchy when it comes to IOUs?
Amy Winehouse smoking crack? On video? First Marion Barry and now this? Amy Winehouse singing a song called "Rehab" is like me singing a song called "Eating and Drinking Less."
"That bitch set me up..." indeed.
goochout
I had to reset my iPod today. It failed after a Nike+iPod workout, not recording my latest jogging endeavor. Hold down the center button plus the menu button at the same time? Sounds a lot like CTRL+ALT+DEL, if you aks me.
I say "aks" to ingratiate my urban fan base. By "urban fan base," I mean the two black guys banging on my front door as I write this. Who knew that prostitutes would be so touchy when it comes to IOUs?
Amy Winehouse smoking crack? On video? First Marion Barry and now this? Amy Winehouse singing a song called "Rehab" is like me singing a song called "Eating and Drinking Less."
"That bitch set me up..." indeed.
goochout