American Pie (the movie) is already nine years old? Time flies.

The price of Viagra has gone up considerably. I remember paying $13/100mg and now it's up to $22? I'm going to start to have to only bang hot chicks.

It's so hot in this office that I can't even jerk off in front of the computer like I'm accustomed to. I don't have any media players hooked up to the bedroom (air conditioned) and print media just will not do it anymore.

Currently playing on my iTunes: Meat Loaf's "Bat out of Hell."

Watched the new Indiana Jones movie last night. Good movie... got a little far fetched toward the end. I was entertained, which is what's most important. Karen Allen hasn't done much since the 80s. Right now she's hoping that a Starman or Animal House sequel is in the works.

Quotes of the Week:

"I get to be George Michael because I can feather my hair... you get to be Andrew Ridgely because you have dark hair and a low voice. Now... say 'jitterbug' so I can start snapping my fingers" - Overheard in a gay guy's bedroom

"No... you be Lacey this time. Why should you always be Cagney?" - Overheard in a lesbian's bedroom

Back to my fortress of solitude.

goochout

Emotion is the worst sexually transmitted disease. -me

******

CNN: Man torches BMW to protest high gas prices

That's dedication to a cause - torching your own car to protest the price of gas. I'm inspired. Later today I'm going to repeatedly slam a file-cabinet drawer on my dick to protest the high teen pregnancy rate. That'll show 'em!

******

Heath Ledger is getting great reviews for his performance in Dark Knight. Yeah... like anyone in their right minds would bash him. Death in your prime is truly the best career move ever.

******

Where's my file cabinet...?

goochout

I had someone walk on my back last night in an effort to make my hand feel better. It actually hurts like hell, but feeling is good; hopefully I'll be back to normal.

This sucks, because my right hand is the one that types all of the good stuff. The left hand is responsible for proofreading/fact checking. My hands are the true genius behind this site. My head simply sways back and forth with my eyes rolled into the back of my head while a blog is being created.

It's true... look it up. I look like I'm doing a bad Stevie Wonder impression right now as I type this. When I hit "Publish Post" I'll likely faint for a split second and then wonder aloud "what happened." Then I'll type http://www.goochonline.com into a browser and read for the first time what my hands wrote.

Awesome!

Left Hand: Out
Right Hand: owut@!ut
Gooch: what's he have to do with any of it?

I have a pinched nerve in my back. It's causing numbness in my hand. On one hand (literally) it sucks because I am having a hard time typing. On the other, I can't feel my hand when I masturbate, so it's like I'm not the one doing it. I used to have to sit on my arm for like 10 minutes for that shit to happen.

Heh.

goochout

George Carlin: Dead at 71

I recently watched a George Carlin stand up performance filmed in 1976. I wasn't his biggest fan, but I appreciated the genius that went into a lot of his material. while the counter-culture stuff might have been lost on my generation, his appearances in the recent Kevin Smith films proves that he was more far reaching as an entertainer than I'd given him credit for in the past. It's certainly sad that he's gone.

"Seven Words" comedy bit below, NSFW: