The blackjack tables have not been kind. Look... another picture of me drunk while wearing a bridal veil:Thanks, Nikki for the pic.

goochout.

Cartman: Clyde, Clyde! If you had a chance right now to get back in time and stop Hitler, wouldn't you do it? I mean, I personally wouldn't stop him because I think he was awesome, but you would, right? - From last night's episode of South Park titled "Make Love Not Warcraft," which was the sweetest fucking episode ever.

I'm downloading it off of Lime Wire right now. If I use PDX bandwidth to pirate video, is it a bigger offense?

I had a conversation with a couple of girls about what the difference between first degree, second degree and third degree sodomy would be. Maybe it's the size of the penis involved? Fuck, I'd only get pegged with a misdemeanor.

Dammit.

Approaching hour 4 of being in an airport terminal. My mind is starting to wander. I wonder if I have a chance with the absolute piece of ass Barista at Coffee People 20 feet from me. I wonder if the people behind me are reading this. I wonder if Mark Foley can give a good blow job. I wonder if I can't get a girlfriend, or if I just don't want one. I wonder what my life would be like if I did something simple like run a hot dog stand or anything that didn't involve Microsoft. My laptop wouldn't boot for this session. I had to do things that normal users wouldn't think to do necessarily just to get my desktop. I guess this is why I have a job. Or, more accurately, I guess that's why I was able to make up a job. I wonder if my ex, Cheryl, has gained more respect for me as a person than when we were together. I wonder if having sex with a lot of people only proves that you have low self-esteem. I wonder if getting drunk all the time only proves that you have little self control. I wonder if the Blackjack tables will show me some respect this weekend.

Being stranded at PDX is sort of a blessing in disguise. This forced solitude is sort of okay. I like friends and family... shit like that. However, I think a lot of people would kill to have four unobstructed hours by themselves with a laptop with a full battery.

Missed my flight to Reno. Five hours I have to spend in this godforsaken airport. The liquid ban is still in effect and every asshole in front of me packed their lotion, contact solution, bottled water... What a fucking hell. Why can't people check baggage and include in their bags ANYTHING REMOTELY POSSIBLY MIGHT BE BANNED FROM BEING CARRIED ON A PLANE. They only allow 3 ounces of liquid so arguing with the TSA agent that the bottle is almost empty takes time. TIME. They're banning liquids when they should be banning screeching babies from the TSA line. Remember when the worst thing about flying was trying to open the bag of peanuts? Fortunately PDX has wifi and I have my laptop.

Gonna buy me some magazines. And a taco.

gooch:stranded

Heading to Reno this weekend for the Columbus Day celebration there. The house is a mess, I'm pretty sure I have enough cash on me, I've done little to prepare for this outing. It'll be the first real-life use of my Sprint wireless/dsl card with my laptop.

I set up a security camera in my house and I forgot it was on. I got the unique opportunity to watch myself put on a sweatshirt, make and eat breakfast (leftover Prime motherfuckin' Rib from Roadhouse, 'cause that's how I roll... right into cardiac arrest).

If you hit mute while watching a Fergie video, you can totally jerk off to it. Funny shit... Fergalicious (or whatever the hell it's called) sounds just like JJFad's "Supersonic" which came out when Fergie was in the seventh grade. "London Bridge" sounds like (and with Fergie's recurring supporting dancers ala Gwen Stefani's Hajakuru girls, the video looks like) Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl."

"Black Eyed Peas is hip-hop for people that don't like rap." - Playboy review

Let's get retarded, indeed.

goochout

Heading to Reno this weekend for the Columbus Day celebration there. The house is a mess, I'm pretty sure I have enough cash on me, I've done little to prepare for this outing. It'll be the first real-life use of my Sprint wireless/dsl card with my laptop.

I set up a security camera in my house and I forgot it was on. I got the unique opportunity to watch myself put on a sweatshirt, make and eat breakfast (leftover Prime motherfuckin' Rib from Roadhouse, 'cause that's how I roll... right into cardiac arrest).

If you hit mute while watching a Fergie video, you can totally jerk off to it. Funny shit... Fergalicious (or whatever the hell it's called) sounds just like JJFad's "Supersonic" which came out when Fergie was in the seventh grade. "London Bridge" sounds like (and with Fergie's recurring supporting dancers ala Gwen Stefani's Hajakuru girls, the video looks like) Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl."

"Black Eyed Peas is hip-hop for people that don't like rap." - Playboy review

Let's get retarded, indeed.

goochout

Heading to Reno this weekend for the Columbus Day celebration there. The house is a mess, I'm pretty sure I have enough cash on me, I've done little to prepare for this outing. It'll be the first real-life use of my Sprint wireless/dsl card with my laptop.

If you hit mute while watching a Fergie video, you can totally jerk off to it. Funny shit... Fergalicious (or whatever the hell it's called) sounds just like JJFad's "Supersonic" which came out when Fergie was in the seventh grade. "London Bridge" sounds like (and with Fergie's recurring supporting dancers ala Gwen Stefani's Hajakuru girls, the video looks like) Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl."

"Black Eyed Peas is hip-hop for people that don't like rap." - Playboy review

Let's get retarded, indeed.

goochout

Customer serves to tech support,Tech Support volleys to System Administrator, System Administrator sets it up for Tech Support, Tech Support spikes it back to Customer.

This is how my Tuesday morning from 8:00 to 8:15 began. Oh, SysAdmin: Customer wants to discuss off-site backup with us.

I watched a movie last night called The Tao of Steve. It's about a fat guy who gets laid a lot. I don't know why I enjoyed the movie so much. I felt a connection... can't put my finger on it.

Goochout.

Foley Enters Rehab

The White House and Democratic leaders in Congress are calling for a criminal probe into former U.S. Rep. Mark Foley's sexually suggestive electronic messages to teenage boys working as pages in the House of Representatives.Foley, of Florida, said Monday that he has checked himself into a rehabilitation facility and is undergoing treatment for alcoholism."The events that led to my resignation have crystalized recognition of my longstanding significant alcohol and emotional difficulties," Foley said in a faxed message WPBF. (PDF: Fax To WPBF)"I strongly believe that I am an alcoholic and have accepted the need for immediate treatment for alcoholism and related behavioral problems," Foley said. "On Saturday, with the loving support of my family and friends, I made arrangements to enter a renowned in-patient facility to address my disease and related.

I'm so fucking sick of people blaming booze for their fucking problems. What a chickenshit diversion to the fact that this asshole is a pedophile. "I got caught IMing a 16 year old boy so... I'd better get treated for alcoholism?" Where the fuck did this come from? And... it's embarrassing that the media even reports that he checked himself into rehab. If he drank, drove, hit a tree... then rehab might be a great spin. What's the next step, be on the cover of People saying "Sorry... I'm rehabbed now!"

Asshole.