Ashley Youmans but now known as Ashley Alexandra Dupre...

You know her now (unless you're my fellow DJ, Wolfe) as the prostitute that fucked the Governor (and, ultimately, the State) of New York. If she's trying to get into a music career, picking a name as pretentious as that does not make for a good start. Over processing your voice doesn't help either. Unless you're Britney Spears or Sean Kingston. Somehow, they get away with it.

I'm getting pretty fucking annoyed with the sympathy for Eliot Spitzer by those who claim he "made a mistake." Spending $80,000 over six years on hookers is not a mistake. It's not like he woke up one morning wondering where his cash was and exclaimed "oh... that's right... I accidentally spent it on whores for the better part of a decade." It's not a mistake. People who do bad things choose to do them and regret them when they get caught. Or... they admit to doing bad things because they don't want to carry the burden of the guilt alone.

"I made a mistake" is simply a way for people who do bad things to plant the seed of doubt in their accusers' minds. It's as if we have this one part of our brain that we can't quite control and it gets blamed for everything that's done wrong. The only mistake Spitzer made was using a shitty alias and making large cash withdrawals. Oh, and getting out of state hookers to cross state lines to fuck him (Mann act)

Heh... if Spitzer gets indicted for transporting a woman across state lines for immoral acts, he could start suffering from Mann-act depression.

bud-dum-bump.

Good Night Gresham!

Of course...



The $4500 Vagina has a MySpace Account.

She has a second page.

CNN: Study shows that 1 in 4 teen girls has an STD

Well that's fucking great. Next time I have four teen-age girls in bed with me, I'll play it cool but eventually take my ball gag out and yell "Okay... I know one of you has got something... who is it?"

This study takes all of the fun out of my Tuesday night slumber parties. Fuck science.

I'm pretty sure that obese people are really just bulimics who don't know how to throw up. I watched an episode of A&E's hit comedy, Intervention, which documented this pretty hot bulimic girl who could eat amazing amounts of food. She would binge on cookies, ice cream, cakes... and then throw it all up to make room for more. She was thrown out of her sorority because she single-handedly ate the food intended to feed 60 girls for six weeks in about a month.

Fucking sweet.

I wanted to write a book on shopping addiction, but I felt guilty selling it to people.

goochout.

The time change has been hard on a lot of people. I asked a co worker if he wanted to go to lunch. He replied "dude, it's 10:30am. Ask me again when I'm hungry... closer to lunch time." I informed him that the clock he was looking at was not set ahead properly. Once I set the clock to the correct time, he saw it and decided he was hungry after all.

ABC News: It Wasn't the Sex; Suspicious $$ Transfers Led to Spitzer

The story is written by Brian Ross, who is clearly not in a relationship as he writes the following snippet in the article:

As recently as this past Valentine's Day, Feb. 13, Spitzer, who officials say is identified in a federal complaint as "Client 9," arranged for a prostitute "Kristen" to meet him in Washington, D.C.

Oops.

I guess the story would be awesomer if the Governor of New York was banging whores while his wife stayed at home crying into a box of truffles and a glass of Ballatore. The truth is, Client 9 was complaining to a hooker mid-blow-job about how he was going to have to stay at home with his wife the next night.

I'm convinced that in most cases in America, even when you have tons of money, dignity, and respect to lose, fidelity still isn't an option. I guess if you have the ambition to be a major celebrity or hold a high office in government... chances are you have the ambition to fuck as many random chicks as possible.

Political Sex Scandals Slide Show

I imagine that Spitzer's wife is somewhat relieved that her husband simply fucks hookers and not trolling for twinks in bath houses. And what about that, anyways? If you're a full blown (giggle) pillowbiter and you want to have an affair... what the fuck is up with the public place sex? Do you want to get caught? Is getting a rim job in a rest-stop bathroom stall off I-5 really that much more gratifying than a Motel 6?

In an unrelated and really stupid side note, I hope that Governor Eliot Spitzer has a daughter who grows up to marry a gentleman with the last name "Swallows" and she hyphenates her married name.

Thanks, and good night Gresham!