Friday, April 27, 2001

Survivor? Listen, if I had one place to drive the Pontiac Aztek, it would be in the Australian Outback. That way, no one would see me driving it. What an ugly vehicle. A tent? Great idea except for the fact that tents tear and the OEM price to replace it is probably a grand. I'm going to find that out. I'll call someone or something, or someone find out and let me know. American car designers should stick with unimaginative cars and quit trying to innovate. The US college system is not good enough to produce decent car designers (save for the new Mercury Cougar and the Ford Mustang). On the other hand, anyone who drives one of those Japanese full-size trucks (Toyota T100, for example) is un-American. No one beats the US when it comes to trucks. No amount of technology can compare to the power of a poorly engineered, oversized engine.

The web is making the world a smaller place. Some guy with the last name of Gooch (I've had a few contact me lately) emailed me and he's from South Africa. There are a lot of people out there that think my last name is, in fact, Gooch. That's incorrect. My last name is Estrada.

Going to see Dualesc tonight at the Fallout Shelter.

Sign my guestbook. Sorry for the last angry log.

Monday, April 23, 2001

Honkies:

Shitty weekend. Great party saturday night, shitty weekend. I curse the day I decided to cut back on xanax. Do they have a patch for that crap? Yeah, while the schmucks of the world are spending $5 a day to kick a $3 a day smoking habit, I want to take that to the next level and do "prescription drug addiction" patches.

"Hey Bill, I see that patch on your arm. Let me guess... motion sickness? Oh, I know: you've finally decided to quit smoking? Good for you!"

"Actually, Chuck, I've decided to try and kick my vicodin habit."

That's about the only dialogue you could fit in a commercial for this product, the rest of the time would be spent on those FDA disclaimers: "may cause stomach cramps, diarhea, heartburn, and rectal bleeding; you should not take the Goochco Vicodin Patch if you're between the ages of 14 and 75 and have a history of breathing. Discontinue use if any of these symptoms occur: rash, headache, violent fits of rage, sudden loss of consciousness, spousal abuse, tourettes, or seizures. Seek immediate medical attention if patient starts smearing his or her own feces on walls and carpet."

They'll line up around the block for my Vicopatch (I can't think of a good enough name... yet). I'm awaiting FDA approval now.

Anyway, shitty weekend: the world can go to Hell. Sign my guestbook, and kiss my ass.

Gooch: The Man. The Myth. The Asshole.