Honkies:
Shitty weekend. Great party saturday night, shitty weekend. I curse the day I decided to cut back on xanax. Do they have a patch for that crap? Yeah, while the schmucks of the world are spending $5 a day to kick a $3 a day smoking habit, I want to take that to the next level and do "prescription drug addiction" patches.
"Hey Bill, I see that patch on your arm. Let me guess... motion sickness? Oh, I know: you've finally decided to quit smoking? Good for you!"
"Actually, Chuck, I've decided to try and kick my vicodin habit."
That's about the only dialogue you could fit in a commercial for this product, the rest of the time would be spent on those FDA disclaimers: "may cause stomach cramps, diarhea, heartburn, and rectal bleeding; you should not take the Goochco Vicodin Patch if you're between the ages of 14 and 75 and have a history of breathing. Discontinue use if any of these symptoms occur: rash, headache, violent fits of rage, sudden loss of consciousness, spousal abuse, tourettes, or seizures. Seek immediate medical attention if patient starts smearing his or her own feces on walls and carpet."
They'll line up around the block for my Vicopatch (I can't think of a good enough name... yet). I'm awaiting FDA approval now.
Anyway, shitty weekend: the world can go to Hell. Sign my guestbook, and kiss my ass.
Gooch: The Man. The Myth. The Asshole.
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