...More than meets the, um... guy?

I caught part of this doozie this morning. Transmorphers. It's a movie about humans battling robots. The CG effects were likely done on a Mac Quadra Pro. It was released on video in June and Transformers was released on DVD in July. Clearly, Michael Bay was influenced by a trip to Blockbuster one day and now has some explaining to do.

Straight to video sucks.

Worst conversation segway this week:

"Wow... I pulled that one out of my ass..." - common phrase, said after a girl just remembered some name important to the story she was telling.

"...Speaking of Sam Adams" - me trying to change the subject to local politics.

******

I'm late to work. I got in around midnight last night after a soccer match where we lost in the last few seconds or so. My legs and my pride both hurt this morning.

goochout

wait... "doozie?"

Sad follow up...

I used to live in an apartment in NE Portland with my then girlfriend around 2001. A Cuban guy lived in a unit upstairs. He was a good guy. He had a heavy accent which reminded me of Pacino's "Scarface," which I thought was cool.

He asked me to tutor him in english, because he needed to pass an exam to get into school to take a welding class. Once he passed the welding class, he could get a better job at Freighliner.

So I tutored him. It was a struggle, but he was doing pretty well. I lost contact with him after I moved out of the apartment after the girlfriend and I broke up.

About a year later, the ex and I were having lunch at a restaurant. The man I tutored walked up to our table and told me that my helping him got him into the class, he got the job, and he had just finished purchasing his first house.

I should have been beaming with joy as he attributed his newfound success to me and my Miracle-Worker type teaching achievement. I was actually thinking that it was kick-ass to have a guy say all of these nice things to me in front of my ex. I would take any opportunity to sound like a non-douchebag in front of her. I couldn't have planned the encounter any better than it was naturally unfolding.

So now, years later, I open up the newspaper and see the man, Juan's, picture under an unemployment story. He's running the risk of losing his house and his retraining classes may not complete in time to get him a job to save him from foreclosure. The story states that he has no savings.

Truth be told, the apartments at the time were probably $550 a month and he drove a brand new Honda S2000 which he traded in for a brand new Acura RSX. His lack of savings might be due to his expensive taste in cars. However, he's a good guy, a hard worker, and I wish him and anybody else in that situation the best.

Here's the story:

Oregonian: Oregon Unemployment Rate Hits 9%

Neighbor Juan

Notes on a scandal...

I watched KPTV's newscast about the Sam Adams issue last night. Even though the identity of the 18 year old man has been extensively published, KPTV opted not to disclose the man's identity (this is usually done to protect the identity of minor victims; Breedlove's name is all over the KPTV website today). They also replaced the Breedlove's name in transcripts with "[teen]." If this isn't an example of artificially making a story more than it is, then I don't know what is. Here's my comment on KPTV.com:

I found it reprehensible that KPTV's 10pm broadcast last night edited transcripts of Adams' statements by replacing Beau Breedlove's name with "teen." Eighteen years old, by every other news publication standards, is an adult. KPTV tried to appear to take the high road by omitting Breedlove's name from the story (and, of course, reminding you that they did so). Breedlove's privacy doesn't seem to be as big a deal less than 10 hours later. KPTV couldn't handle the fact that their story was only about two consenting adults, they had to give the appearance of something more insidious. I think it's awful what occured, but would rather get straight news (no pun intended) than KPTV's distorted (and always somehow self promoting) version.

A Portland Scandal.

So Mayor Sam Adams, Portland Oregon's openly gay mayor has admitted, the evening before a local weekly magazine published the news, that he had an affair with an 18-year-old intern.

Willamette Week: Adams' Admission

The real pisser of the whole thing is that there are so many places to have gay sex in Portland, that there's no reason to do it with someone you have to lie about. There are the gayest of night clubs in downtown Portland. There's a stretch of SW Stark Street known as "Vaseline Alley." Even I, whose inability to say "no" has been displayed at strip clubs, dance clubs, and buffets, have refused to pursue some girls because it might possibly affect my job. Yet some people have even less self control than me.

"I want to publicly acknowledge I made a mistake and apologize for it," said Adams, who is in DC for the presidential inauguration tomorrow of Barack Obama. "In the past, I've characterized my relationship with Beau Breedlove as purely non-sexual and that is not true."

Wait... Breedlove? Not since my story about the lesbian with the last name of "Cock" has there been such an ironic name attributed to a gay person. His kind of love does not breed.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I have no problem with gay people doing anything. They should be able to fight in wars, get married, you know - all of the things that most straight guys try to avoid. There are a lot of people that denounce the homosexual lifestyle because it's immoral and unnatural. You should see the immoral and unnatural things this straight guy did in 2008 alone. Trust me, gay is never the issue: being a sick fuck is.

Gays should be able to hold an elected office. They should not, however, hold an 18-year-old employee's cock in the process of getting there.

Local and national politicians: Goldschmidt, Packwood, Clinton... have all fucked poorly, apologized and said that they've "made mistakes." Fucking is never a mistake. You fuck someone because you want to fuck them. I walked to the wrong Scion today and stood there confused that my remote wasn't unlocking the door. Meanwhile, my Scion was flashing its lights behind me while I stood there looking confused. That's a mistake. Fucking someone, cheating on someone, banging an intern or a student, is not a mistake. It's some premeditated shit that you knew you were going to do way before it happened.

So another politician lied, got caught in that lie, and then apologized for it hoping for unilateral forgiveness. I think Adams should keep his job. He shouldn't resign. Two consenting adults banged and then lied about it. That's a perfect one-sentence description of my twenties. Let him do his job until he does something serious, like actually break a law.

[I free wrote this, should you wonder why I appear batshit crazy or if you're tallying up the number of times I typed "fuck." I was just looking for something to do while I drank wine, downloaded porn, and waited for the Advil PMs to kick in. These computer things are amazing.]

goochout