I was watching the History Channel today in an effort to learn stuff. Turns out Adolf Hitler was a real dick. If I was Jewish, I'd never take a shower. Baths only for this Heeb. I'd wrap every shower head in my home with a plastic bag and duct tape. Soap on a rope: out. Mr Bubble: in. I'd get suspended from school for refusing to shower after PE. I'd sue and make the school district put in a clawfoot tub in the communal shower in the locker rooms. I wouldn't ride trains either. Fuck trains. Showers... trains... fool me once, motherfuckers...

goochout

Ah... thankfulness.


I'm sitting on my couch with a laptop warming my balls and a High Definition presentation of Robocop on the plasma. I wound down the longest three day work week last night drinking and partying with friends at Montego's. I spent an entire day's pay last night, which means I'll be working as a DJ Friday night to offset my irresponsible expenditures.

Going to my Aunt and Uncle's for a serious ball-breaking... I mean Thanksgiving feast. It's a typical Italian meal where everyone fucks with each other, some physical contact, and lots of food. I already wrote one joke while on the road yesterday:

Hey, [cousin's name]: I hear you were employee of the day at your new job. Oh... wait... you were employed for a day at your new job.

Last night a girl that used to dance at an upscale strip club found were way to the stage at Montego's, reputedly a "divey" strip club. Q-Ball, aka Ryan the bartender there stated that Montego's is where good strippers go to pasture. I commented that Montego's is to strippers as the showers were to the Jews. It's not that bad. We actually get a lot of hot girls before they realize that they're too good for the place. That's when we shine.

I forgot how awesome Robocop is. I'm thankful for robocop.