I'm out of my fucking mind. I almost downloaded the nude picture of Vanessa Hudgens that has been propagating around the internet, but I didn't care enough to do so. Now that I've decided to comment on it, it's too late. Who the fuck is she? She's in High School Musical and dating Zac Efron, another HSM cast member who is on the cover of every magazine right now. She's a Disney Channel alum. She's apologizing for taking the private nude pictures.

Unless you're dating me, NEVER take nude pictures of yourself. Especially in the digital age.Someone might but I'll sure as shit use those pictures for evil. Even if you put them in a safe place. Even I've got a DVD floating around somewhere. True Story. The Superficial had the nude picture up, but took it down due to lawyer requests according to the site. I'd put it up, since I haven't had any lawyer issues since the Sara Rue incident.

But if you're on Disney, shouldn't you take extra care in not having nude pictures turn up. I guess this is like Annette Funicello winding up spread eagle in a Polaroid. I watched the old Mickey Mouse Club shows when I was a kid. I hated Annette because she was such a god damned goody two-shoes. I bet she was an absolute gang-banging three-input slut. Yeah, that's it... where's the 8MM footage of that?

Someone email the original Vanessa Hucaresgens nude to me.

Vanessa Hudgens in nude scandal

goochout

goochpourri...

I had my palm read while at the coast this week. I thought it was all bullshit and I even thought that going into the room with the gypsy lady and my girlfriend's $20 (I'm not paying for this shit). Once the door shut and me and the scammer were across the table from each other with my palms out for her to read (you masturbate with... your... right... hand... heh) I started to sweat profusely at the thought that maybe this broad actually has a window into my soul. She gave me the basic info like "you've been unappreciated and put down your entire life" and told me shit that I wanted to hear "you will come into a large sum of money... your income will double..."

So I started making collection calls this week on some past due accounts. Hopefully she's spooky accurate.

I'm the type of person who writes about the type of person that begins every other sentence with "I'm the type of person." If you're that type of person... stop it. It's annoying.

Halle Berry is pregnant. The older the Berry, the sweeter the juice. Heh. She's 41 and I'm 33, yet despite our age we've decided to keep the child. What? Not mine? Fuck it. One of my ex-girlfriends from way back has a child with a weight problem and a therapist. I keep looking at him like... naw... no, impossib... naw... unh uh...

I'm sure I don't have any kids out there.



The Virgin Galactic Spaceport conceptual illustration has been released. I think more buildings should look like vaginas. What's more inviting than a giant vulva? Vagina... Virgin... I get it. I think the entryways to buildings and homes should look like this. My ex girlfriend's vagina actually looked like a revolving door (or at least acted like one)... I'll email any architect a digital picture if it will help in the design of my building entry concept. I could probably email a picture of my ex girlfriend's vagina to a random email address and the recipient would reply with a message stating "wait... I know her."

Fuck.

Gotta go to work.

GoochOut.