GOOCHONLINE - Since 1999

I can't believe I wasted my 1111th post on "Update coming soon." How anticlimactic.

I apologize publicly to Nikki for being a jerk last night when I met the new guy she is dating. I could blame it on the Jack Daniels, but some people don't realize that I can be a jerk when sober.

It's true.

Now that I've apologized, Nikki, can you please send me the picture(s) of me shoving my face into your cousin's big silicone chest over the weekend? Thank you for your time.

Is anyone else tired of the "Drunk Drivers Against Mothers" joke banner above? It's like I've been telling the same stupid joke for four years. I wonder if a "Drunk Drivers Against Mothers" bumper sticker would sell? You might as well beg a cop to pull you over, but it'd still be funny.

I want to go to the beach.

I am going to Vegas soon.

Vegas, baby. Vegas.

goochout.
(gesundheit).