AMERICAN IDOL: THE SECOND FOREIGN TERRORIST ATTACK ON AMERICAN SOIL.
What, in the name of all things holy, possessed someone to bring the "Idol" concept to American television? I've kept from watching this overhyped spectacle all season and I tried to sit through the big finale tonight. Why can't the USA come up with cool programming? Why do we have to import garbage like "Weakest Link" and "American Idol?" (called "Pop Idol" in England, where it was hatched).
What a load of crap.
The finale features unfunny, wisecracking hosts, Ford Motor Company commercials actually placed within the actual show itself, and big ensemble medleys from the final contestants. Big ensemble medleys? Hasn't happened since the seventies. So... they're going to bring that genre back? Not while I'm alive. Tonight's show looks as though Lawrence fucking Welk rose from his grave and said "get some really good songs, put them to MIDI, and have college kids sing and dance to them."
"But Lawrence," someone might ask, "isn't that like bringing a karaoke bar to prime time television?"
That's what it is. I can go to any karaoke bar in Gresham and hear singing better than what the pant-loads at Fox have glorified. Who's in to this stuff?
In grade school, I saw a porno where a guy was sodomizing some chick while holding her head inside a flushing toilet. Everyone responsible for this crap should have this done to them. Get me the number for Rocco Siffredi.
ROCCO SIFFREDI. HE MAKES THINGS HAPPEN
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