That's what this page is all about. If I make someone laugh, or even laugh at me, then I've done what I wanted to do. Even lately with some of the self loathing crap I've been spewing, if it brings a smile to someone else's face then It's okay by me.
Yesterday was the greatest email day in the history of my email accounts.
It was 1999 when a writing professor made everyone in my class get email addresses from the computer center at Portland State University. I was issued psu17190@odin.cc.pdx.edu. I didn't want it. I got lots of use out of my Macintosh and didn't want an email address. Now I'm running an email server and have more email addresses than anyone should. Because of this, my incoming email had become a cess pool of spam and unwanted porn. Last night I found an island in the sea of shit that is my "in" box. Messages from old friends from out of the blue, new friends that I don't normally correspond with outside of a bar, even friends that I haven't met yet. For a brief moment I experienced something I barely remember... happiness. Not the happiness that I find at the bottom of a bottle of Cuervo, but good happiness. The kind of happiness that you get from a first kiss, an acheivement, an 'A' on a paper, or just a brief feeling of content. All those feelings of despair, lonliness, hopelessness have taken a vacation. I don't think it's just the emails; in fact it should all be a little inconsequential to me, but my brain is acting like this is the best day of my life. I'm going to try to hold onto this as long as I can.
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