GOOCHONLINE - Since 1999

In the land of the blind, the man with one eye is king.

- Unknown philosopher

In a 3-D movie, the man with one eye is fucked.

- John "Gooch" Gallucci
Baghdad liberated? I hope to God that 7-11 Convenience Stores put in a bunch of franchises and staff them with white people who don't speak a lick of Arab. Can you imagine a bunch of Arab guys sucking on slurpees bitching about how all "these foreigners come to our country and don't bother to learn the language?" Good times.

This blog is brought to you by Ephedrine. Ephedrine - When you're too broke to buy cocaine.

IF YOU CAN READ THIS THEN THE LIGHTNING STORM DIDN'T FUCK ME LAST NIGHT. There's nothing more frightning than looking at lightning outside and consumer level APC uninterruptible power supplies inside. There's even word of a tornado in Portland's West Hills. You know in Everclear's song I Will Buy You a New Life when he sings "I will buy you a big house/way up in the West Hills?" That's where he's talking about: the rich side of town in Portland. The West Hills of Portland and Troutdale (where I live) are the two most exclusive places in Multnomah County to live. A lot of people don't know that.

Coming soon... Gooch photo flashbacks!