Quotable Quotes...
Happy birthday... we noticed you didn't call last week. -Manager of the local Domino's Pizza, calling me to wish me a happy birthday.
I think a lot of girls' eyes are bigger than their vagina when they shop for those things. -Female friend, discussing women who buy really large sex toys
No one in your group is in law enforcement, are they?
-Restauranteur hosting a bachelor party for next weekend that I helped coordinate
Hey... who's at the door?
Scott Peterson, arrested yesterday and booked on two counts of murder after the bodies of his wife and son were found.
Yeah... we're going to need you to squeeze this rubber ball so that we can find a vein.
-The guy who (hopefully soon) gets to execute Christian Longo by lethal injection for the murder of his wife and three children.
I am trouble. You could be in trouble if you want.
-Clever line written in my guestbook by a girl.
You're probably passed out on someone's floor...
-Ex girlfriend while wishing me a happy birthday on my voice mail this morning.
8:15
-The time indicated on my Swatch, despite the fact that it's 2:00 and I just had the battery replaced.
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