GOOCHONLINE - Since 1999

I accidentally downloaded a bestiality porn where this Lassie looking dog is plowing away on some hot chick. The girl was good looking; better than a lot of girls I've dated. What kind of world do we live in where I can go through a dry spell, but a fucking labrador can bang hot chicks? Stop the planet, I want to get off.

Started a full length column about turning 30 this week. Depressing to write about. I've always goofed on being 30 in the past, and now I'm it.

Curb Your Enthusiasm is the greatest thing since Seinfeld.

It's getting hot in the crib. Dusting off the fans and greatly anticipating the opening of the MILF magnet (condo pool) 100 feet away from my front door.

gooch:OUT