'Diet' mixers increase blood alcohol
Who do I get to sue? Exhibits A, B, and C are what... that last three ugly chicks I fucked? I want Nutrasweet reparations. I want the company that makes sugar-free Red Bull to pay for the wake of broken bar furniture, automotive body parts, hearts, and mailboxes I've left in recent times. I was fucked up on Jack and Diets when I met my last serious girlfriend... how do I apply for the last two years of my life back? Who's going to pay for my Dad's couch cleaning? First cigarettes cause cancer and now this?
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