Possible titles for my upcoming autobiography:

"'No... really... if I Use a Condom, You'll Still Be a Virgin:' The John Gallucci Story"

"Perspiration and Desperation: The John Gallucci Story"

"'Wait a Minute... You're Married?' The John Gallucci Story"

"'If You're Here, and I'm here, Then Who's Flying the Plane?" The John Gallucci Story

Oh, this one could go on for a while.


Best unused T-shirt idea I heard from a guy named Tony:

"I survived hurricane Katrina and all I got was a 52" plasma TV."

out