Tuesday's with Whorrie.

Clowns.

Drank too much beer last night. I switched to suds because I was getting SO fucked up on the (presumably healthier) vodka-sodas. Beer makes me feel full and I can't get so drunk so fast. It's like a speed governor on my liver. I think I'm turning into a beeraholic though.

My Palm Pre. I love it. However, the "Pre" should stand for "PREmature battery failure." It lasts almost a work day before it craps out to the point that I don't answer the phone for fear that it'll shut down entirely.

I went to Wal-Mart this morning. Being in a Wal-Mart is like being in an Oregon prison: You don't make eye contact with anyone, it's full of white people, and most everyone inside is costing taxpayers something.

While at Wal-Mart, I bought cat litter, flower food, and veggie sausages. I'm sure any other person with a similar shopping list sucked a cock either immediately before or after completing her (or his) shopping duties.

I'm so fucking sick of people with absolutely no fulfillment in their lives... no purposes on this green fucking earth whatsoever... who artificially inflate a cause to give themselves an artificial purpose in life. I'm talking about the David Letterman/Sarah Palin rift. First: he didn't write the joke, he just told it. Second: He apologized sincerely on his show which should have been the end of it. Third: She's actually treating and speaking about his joke about her daughter getting knocked up (like her other daughter) like an assault on "all young women."

Get a grip, the nation at large does not feel that young women are fair game for crude jokes. I mean, I think they are, but most people do not. Sarah Palin is a fucking idiot. I would bang her into next tuesday. I would have her douchebag husband hold a camcorder while I lovingly and affectionately violated his wife. That said, I would like to state again that Sarah Palin is a fucking idiot. I love that Palin is such a proponent of abstinence and her kid got knocked up. I think that when you parade your fucking pregnant teenage daughter around the country on television, they're fair fucking game. Don't use your kids as marketing tools if you don't want the backlash. She exploited her kids first, now it's everyone else's turn.

http://www.firedavidletterman.com

goochout.