[I started to free write for a while and then pressing (read: billable) matters came up. I was honest enough with myself that I wasn't going to finish this later, but thought I'd publish a rough draft just the same. So if it doesn't make sense, it's because it's mostly notes and not a cohesive set of paragraphs. You ever start having sex with a chick and then lose the boner halfway through? That's what this post is. Peace, crackers.]
Confederates:
I love America. I love celebrating America. Every time I write something, drink something, eat pork, and tip a stripper - I'm always thinking about how great it is here and how fucked up it is in other places. We have it so good, that the only thing really keeping us down are the terrorist buzzkills who know everything about flying a plane except landing them and that figured out all the damage that a van full of fertilizer can do.
Am I arrogant to think that if we introduced our kickass way of life to the people trying to kill us, they might relax a bit? You're damn right I am. But I can be, so that's coo'. My arrogance and the arrogance of my forefathers is what makes this country so great. John Wayne, Star Wars, a natural disdain for literature, the arts, and Canada, soft core porn, hard core porn, paying too much for cable, non sequiturs. God Dammit! Quit sending troops to Baghdad. Deploy strippers, brass poles, and vinyl couches to the battlefields.
People in India don't have it so great there either. A woman who allegedly cheated on her husband has been locked up for five years, caned 99 times, and will eventually be buried up to her shoulders and have grapefruit sized rocks thrown at her until she dies. What kind of sadistic fuckedupness is that? Why do all of these cultures that think they're so much better than ours treat their women so terribly? I mean, we degrade women here but goddamn it we tip them at least a dollar a song.
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