Katy Perry: "How can I stay relevant/important without my tits hanging out? I mean, sure it's a kids' show but dammit my tits are the curtain and my talent is a little old man hiding behind the curtains running the smoke and mirrors."
Picture caption: "One of these two is only entertaining when a hand is inserted into them. The other is Elmo."
Wow, that practically wrote itself. And by that, I mean I'm sure I didn't originate such filthy puppet humor.
As I write this, I'm in an office where small electronics are fixed. One of the customers in here at the moment is a lesbian with a laptop first came to the shop with a vibrator in hand. The shop owner refused to fix it. True story. I bet if she was hot, it would have gotten fixed.
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