Last night I spent about 10 minutes wondering about where I spent $7,50, as the cash account total on my Quicken personal finance software belied the contents of my wallet by that amount.
This is 2011, the year following one in which I fudged company accounting (fudged as in the sense of "best guess") and marvelled at the inexplicably large checks I was writing myself for some inexplicable reason. Now, I keep track of everything like a good (and by "good," I mean "one with a pulse") business owner should. I'm almost obsessive about it now, but that's the nature of me: I either go 100% or 0%. This is not a good thing in a world where moderation seems to be the only way to live.
Sure, I've even drank a couple of times this year so far. Both times were designated driven and were for special occassions. Granted, I can take any occassion and make it special enough to drink, but this is a good start.
As recently as a few days ago, I realized how fucking fat I am. No one wants to be fat. They do want to be happy with themselves. I think what a lot of people do is justify their weight in myriad ways: I'm on a diet now, I'm big boned. It's genetic, I'm Kirstie Alley. Mine was that people accepted me as if I was thin. I don't think that's 100% the case now. This is a good thing, as if I suddenly feel exposed and have been shocked into doing something about it. This justification works with everything, now that I've given it more thought (read: any) than what these free-write posts usually involve. Drunks and drug addicts feel since they have a job or take care of their kids when they have them or some shit that their booze induced benders don't really affect their lives.
What the fuck is going on in Egypt? I have an explanation that I'll post at the 11:11.
Salaam,
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