The story of Easter, as I recall it is that Jesus gets tortured and killed, put into a tomb, and after a few days wakes up and moves the boulder sealing off the tomb. Is the story of Easter not the greatest setup for a rampage film ever?
I mean, a thirty three year old with a kickass beard emerges from a tomb. He looks at his hands and feet to see unhealed nail holes are still present. He pauses, looks up and screams "dude, what the fuck was that!?"Cut to underground bunker filled with fully automatic assault rifles, grenades. Jesus throws an AK-47 and a rocket launcher over each shoulder and an ammo belt and a rosary around his neck. Don we now our death apparel. All he'd need is an ironically Hasidic Jewish sidekick and let he who casts the first stone get his motherfucking cap peeled.
goochout.
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