Friday, September 23, 2011

Wait, what?



What have I done lately:

After a successful (read: I didn't hock my plane ticket for some gambling scratch and road coke) trip to Vegas, I slipped back into Portland obscurity. I prefer Vegas obscurity to Portland obscurity because, well, it's Vegas.

I like Vegas for reasons other than most. I mean, I like clubs, gambling, good food and soaking the front of my shirt with vodka and stripper glitter. Sure, I like swimming pools with live DJs and drink specials at 1pm. But there's more to it than that.

I mean, not much more. We (girlfriend and I) stayed in New York New York where, once we stepped out of the elevator, a world of food and retail awaited us. We never had to leave the climate controlled confines of our hotel. Ben and Jerry's, Haagen Dazs, gourmet pretzels, a Nathan's Hot Dog restaurant, an arcade, a roller coaster... they can even put your picture in three dimensions inside a crystal cube. HOW THE FUCK DO THEY DO THAT? New York New York is a magical place. Word the hotel has started construction on a themed rollercoaster using two miniature fiberglass747s passing through miniature buildings has proven untrue. In a related story, plans for a similarly themed nearby hotel called "Iraq Iraq" have been scrapped. That sucks, because I was looking forward to getting my drink on at the Allah Ack-Bar and Grill.

Wakka wakka... indeed.

And I love Starbucks. I know that their coffee grounds are the largest example of profitable mediocrity to ever have hot water run through it. I know that the food is only good due to its convenience and pairing with coffee. Truth be told, I love watching Starbucks employees pretend like they're genuinely concerned about my day and overall well being. I have a lot of friends... none of them can match the sincerity (albeit feigned) of a barista's inquiries into how my work day is. I reciprocate, and of course I'm informed every day is a great day at Starbucks. It should be. Water filtered through dirt at the same price-per-ounce as black tar heroin should make any corporation and their employees just fucking ecstatic.

Speaking of work, I need to feed my own little S-Corp some billable hours. Off to the races. Peace in.

Gooch out.

2:50pm I've edited this post at least four times now.

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