I'm Lovin' it... Indeed.

This is the recording of the 911 call from a woman who ordered McNuggets from McDonalds. They didn't have McNuggets, so she (naturally) called the police. I'm guessing she was on her way home from a MENSA meeting when she stopped for the ill-fated transaction.

G

Commodore?

I don't know why I like this girl. Maybe it's her eyes. Oh, I know, it's her enormous cans.

Oh my God... it's (been) back (but not in its original incarnation, just in name and Java based games online)!

Commodore Gaming

Monday, Monday...

Gemma Atkinson. I guess they're supposed to be real. Nice.

"You're funnier in real life than on your blog." - Anonymous

I downloaded the new U2 album today in under six minutes. I guess it's not supposed to be released until tomorrow.

From a CNN article about the album:

By the way, the album eventually did leak -- through a supposed record label glitch in Australia. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Thank God they traced it to someone's desk in Australia...

Have to deal with paperworky type stuff today. Maybe a little negotiationy stuff as well. I hate this stuff.

I have nothing to report from the weekend. Friday: Watched "Gran Torino" which was good. "RocknRolla" was hard to understand. Saturday: Went to a friend's birthday. Met a couple girls. Pretty standard, really. Yadda yadda yadda... got home at 3am. Have a date for this week. And not one of those "Oh they're best friends and they always hang out together" dates, or a "They used to be boyfriend and girlfriend and now they're the best of friends" dates, or a "Look at that drunk chick hanging all over that fat drunk guy at the bar" dates. Nope, it's a real "go to dinner, buy some drinks, awkward make out session in a small car" date.

I'll try to find some adventure this week; get some new material to write about.

Peace.

gooch

Nothing like a big set of cans to salvage a shitty post, eh?

Douchebag of the Day

Mayor who sent watermelon e-mail says he'll resign

I felt bad about this Mayor... I was lamenting the loss of a career from a stupid email forwarding. Then I read this line:

Grose said he didn't mean to offend anyone and claimed he was unaware of the racial stereotype linking black people with eating watermelons.

Wow... all that loss of credibility with one sentence. So he forwarded a picture that made absolutely no sense to him? Douche!

I think some jokes involving stereotypes are hysterical. In fact, I'm going to start dancing arythmically with my top teeth over my lower lip to ABBA once I'm done typing this.

Mamma Mia Motherfuckers!

goochout

No, I don't think the Obamas are just another black family living in government housing.

He died doing what he loved...

Man, 28, Dies After 'Guzzling' Viagra During 12-Hour Romp

Two chicks at the same time with the aid of Viagra? Where do I sign up? I almost did two girls at the same time after I took Viagra. What happened? Yadda yadda yadda... sitting in bed by myself watching an episode of Family Guy over my sheet covered Viagra fueled erection.

True story, I'm afraid.

I have to buy new pants before I go to a funeral today (or lose 20 pounds in three hours). Is there any girl out there that would blow me if I lost 30 pounds? I think I need that carrot at the end of the stick (so to speak) to get myself into dating weight. Married women are disqualified. Unless they're hot, and the husband is small or disabled in some way that he is unable to squeeze a trigger.

Come on! What the fuck is some dude personal trainer going to do for me? Blow job: my ticket to fitness!

goochout

Movie Night

I went and saw "He's Just Not That Into You" Last night.

A few things: Not a bad film, a little long winded. Definitely could have resolved the 20 or so subplots a little tighter.

Scarlett Johannsen: Way more fuckable than I ever gave her credit for.

Drew Barrymore: Amazingly less fuckable with every year that passes.

Jennifer Connelly: Needs to go back to showing her breasts in all of her films. That face isn't cutting it anymore, sister.

Ben Affleck: What the fuck is up with those teeth? Are they caps? There's something so unnatural about that smile of his and it's not entirely his shitty acting. It's something...

Jennifer Aniston: Oh... she's full of classic bangability. Absofuckinglutely adorable. [sigh]

Decent movie; an interesting foray into relationships done in a way that multiple situations and circumstances could be explored simultaneously. I think anyone that watches it will relate in many ways to the different characters and types of relationships explored. I suggest, however that anyone who watches it does so in the comfort of their own living room with a rental copy.

What, no updates?

Lame.

goochout