Thursday, February 26, 2009

He died doing what he loved...




Two chicks at the same time with the aid of Viagra? Where do I sign up? I almost did two girls at the same time after I took Viagra. What happened? Yadda yadda yadda... sitting in bed by myself watching an episode of Family Guy over my sheet covered Viagra fueled erection.
True story, I'm afraid.

I have to buy new pants before I go to a funeral today (or lose 20 pounds in three hours). Is there any girl out there that would blow me if I lost 30 pounds? I think I need that carrot at the end of the stick (so to speak) to get myself into dating weight. Married women are disqualified. Unless they're hot, and the husband is small or disabled in some way that he is unable to squeeze a trigger.

Come on! What the fuck is some dude personal trainer going to do for me? Blow job: my ticket to fitness!

goochout


No comments: