Fred: ...And let me guess: when you woke up, your pillow was gone?
Bill: No. When I woke up, my wife was smothering me with a pillow.
or...
Bill: No. When I woke up, my face was being pushed into a pillow by one cell mate and I was being sodomized by another.
You can't go wrong with prison rape jokes. Speaking of prison rape, let me give you some free technical support. You know those free utilities like "Gator" and "Weather Bug," those file sharing programs (like KaZaa), the fun apps like "Comet Cursor?"
They're all crap. Their sole purpose is to deliver advertisements to you under the false pretenses of providing a service. In reality, they suck up the bandwidth of your internet connections and eventually conflict with something important on your system. A hint to how insidious some of these programs are is made evident when you try to remove them from your system. "Add/Remove Programs" in Windows doesn't cut it. What I use is a program called "Ad-Aware" and then another program called "RegCleaner" on either of those to go to their respective web pages. Run Ad-Aware first, then run RegCleaner to remove all registry entries that reference Gator, KaZaa, CometCursor, etc. Delete the wrong registry entry in RegCleaner and you'll screw up your system. Once you've done this, go to KaZaa Lite and use that for your file sharing endeavors.
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