Sunday, July 13, 2003

I was dancing at an after hours club last night and I saw some guy steal some of my moves. It was as pathetic as watching someone steal blood out of an AIDS treatment facility. It's a bad idea. I can't dance.

Guys shouldn't dance. There's no way to look cool doing it. Sometimes you can't get out of it. The best thing to do is to go out on the dance floor, watch the moves that some other guy is doing (like the guy mentioned above), repeat observed move while adding some variation, and make your face look as though you've been drinking since 10am that morning. This way, when someone is watching you wondering if you're dancing or having a seizure, they'll just think you're plastered.

I hung out with some long distance runners this weekend. They talk about doing "quick 20-mile runs" with the same passivity as I talk about crawling out of bed in the morning. They say shit like "I woke up at 4am this morning, which almost didn't give me time to run 50 miles before work" or "I just had both of my legs amputated, so I was only able to do a 10-mile sprint."

I lost my check card again. Somehow I've managed to hemorrhage cash despite my lack of access to it. I haven't slept in four days. The party ends today, I'm going to bed early.

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