"Tom Haggen... get me a burger, large fry, one of
those apple pastry things, an orange, a chocolate milkshake,
and a diet Coke. They've made me a Big Mac I can't refuse.
Marlon Brando, dead at 80.
Initial news reports as I write this state that the cause of death is "unknown." Um... He was 80 years-old and weighed about 10 pounds for every year he aged. What... are they gonna do an autopsy? Do they suspect foul play? Maybe it was AIDS? Or a cocaine overdose? I'd love to be in the medical examiner's room when they truck Brando in.
Police Officer: "Doctor, we need to know what killed this acting legend."
Medical Examiner (opening a can of PBR and eating an orange): Fuckin' look at him." (belches)
If more people went to Reno and were familiar with the "Awful Awful" burger at the Nugget in Reno, I could have captioned Brando with "They've made me an Awful I can't refuse." Oh, geez, with Brando's death, maybe the play on "Offer you can't refuse" jokes will die. I don't see an end in sight for the end of "Got Milk" variations.
Biography for Marlon Brando (IMDB.COM)
Fox News: Actor Marlon Brando Dead at 80
We here at Goochonline.com honor, respect, and admire our fallen heroes who eat and drink too much and display little or no self control. If there's a happy hour in heaven, we'll see you there, Mr. Brando. Rest in peace.
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