I haven't slept in my own bed for a week now. I've slept on my own couch and in my office. Am I practicing for marriage?
Woke up this morning hungover with a voice message from someone telling me that she "hopes I have fun with the sign." Hoping that the memory sparked was only a dream I looked out on my patio to find I was harboring a stolen handicapped-parking sign complete with post. I have to sneak the damn thing back now as I don't want the fucking thing. I've actually grown out of decorating with stolen street signs.
Here's to drinking a fifth on the fourth.
Goochout.
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