Friday, February 09, 2007

I'm sorry, but I keep hearing talk about how Anna Nicole and her son Daniel can "finally be together again in Heaven." I was literally five years old when my paternal Grandfather died and my Mom picked me up and set me on the workbench in the basement where I was playing to tell me what Heaven was that my Grandpa had gone there.

So how many pills do you have to pop and how promiscuous do you have to be before God revokes your Heaven priveledges? If Anna Nicole Smith gets a peaceful afterlife then what's keeping me from getting fucked up every goddammed night (as opposed to three times a week, I guess)? I can see her son Daniel getting there... God owes him that for placing him in the womb of ANS.

Anna Nicole Smith is not in the same Heaven as Grandpa. They might play against each other in a pickup game of softball, but not on the same team. Maybe she's in an annex or something.

What's the proper form? Do I pour some Vicodin on the curb for the fallen?

I love that they're speculating "natural causes" while the autopsy is currently underway. How does a 39-year-old die of natural causes? I guess 39 is 117 in whore years. She had a full life then, I guess. She died so that I may blog.

I've already blogged twice, returned some emails, rubbed one out, done an hour of cardio, half hour of lifting weights, tanned, eaten breakfast, and showered before 8am. I am the picture of self discipline and health.

Heh.

goochout

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Your grandpa is not in heaven...he is in the basement living off retirement cake.