GOOCHONLINE - Since 1999

I'm working this Saturday at Montego's. Not Friday as usual. I regret the late notice and any inconvenience this may cause. You have a lot of choices when deciding where to spend your entertainment/lap dance dollars. We at Montego's appreciate that your business.

I'm still hurting from Tuesday. I feel as though I threw up, but I didn't. You know, the burning throat, the dizziness.

Apparently Heath Ledger took so many sedatives that he suppressed the part of the brain that tells you to breathe. I need a sedative that tells the brain not to eat or drink alcohol. If they invented a prime rib with a high alcohol content, I too would be found naked in bed by my housekeeper, my masseuse, and my bodyguard. Empty styrofoam steakhouse containers strewn about my apartment. A piece of horseradish laden fat marbled meat dangling from my smiling face. A seventies porn movie starring Seka would be in my Betamax VCR. I wouldn't be dead, necessarily; that's just how I'd be found.

gooch out.