Back to the grill...

I'm shirking all work obligations in an effort to get domesticated tonight. Primarily because a friend of mine almost cried when she saw my house when she came over to take care of the cat three days ago.

So I'll take care of the house, put something besides condiments in the fridge, put some wine in my empty wine fridge.

A girl I've been dating may stumble on this site soon. She's smart, she can Google, she can spell my last name. I've asked her not to visit the site. I feel the temptation is overwhelming and she'll ultimately ignore my wishes. If this site cockblocks me I swear to God I'm pulling the plug.

Of course, people can't help but love me with my five year old epic: The Breakup Column. It's a timeless piece that holds up after two additional failed relationships. Girls that I date either love it or find me a little jaded and undesirable after reading it.

Others think I should write something new and not hold on to a piece of unpublished writing that's half a decade old. And by "others," I mean me.

Some people play "hard to get." I play "hard to want." - Andrew Dice Clay. I think.

I am Gooch, hear me bore.

out.