Ha! I decided that I'm still a virgin. I've just been masturbating with vaginas for the last 17 years. Hell, they're better than banana peels. Not always as good for conversation, though.
It's blustery out. I'm an island. I've used the lure of copious amounts of alcohol and, you know, gems of jokes like the last paragraph to get people over, but things like the possibility of property and/or physical damage are thwarting my efforts. Even the cat is paying me little attention. I have to walk in the snow to clean her litter box. The least she could do is walk around and do cute little cat things. Bat at a ball of yarn... rub her face against things... do SOMETHING besides eat, fill the litterbox, and sleep.
With slight variations due to species, I haven't done much else myself.
I found my only high school girlfriend on Facebook. It's strange, someone I dated is married with five kids and I'm sitting in a condo writing vagina jokes and trying to decide what cocktail I want to start my evening with. It's not even 6pm!
Ah, but I'm happy.
: )
goochout.
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