I really like to think of myself as culturally relevant. I keep up on popular music enough to know that it's awful. I pirate enough movies to make sure that I can discuss the latest theatrical releases - even if it means I watched that blockbuster on my computer and the copy was something that a Russian dude filmed through his camcorder. What the fuck ever. I've seen it and I can discuss it.
Girls that I've dated or even wanted to date recently have been into fantasy films like Harry Potter and the Twilight films. I guess if you're a chick and you're dating me, theatrical escapism is probably an important part of your life.
I watched all of the Harry Potter movies with my last girlfriend. It's like Dungeons and Dragons except it's all wizards and one token hot chick that is too young to really think about. She's British, so she has yet to grow into her adult yellow-crooked-teeth - a rite of passage into adulthood for the British. I think the red headed kid (you see how I give such little of a shit that I won't even look up the names) did not transition from cute kid to handsome adult like the producers, I'm sure, hoped. You cannot gamble on a red headed kid growing into a handsome adult (see: Danny Bonaduce). Insert Gingervitis joke here. Harry Potter looks as if he's not sure he wants to ride that Quiddich pole thing or shove it in his ass. And they're all a little too old to be in that school. If they come out with a "Harry Potter: The Next Generation" or some other contrived sequel, I will blow up a theater.
And now... Twilight? What the fuck is this shit? I had drinks with a friend last night and had to claim complete ignorance to the Twilight movies. She said things like "team Edward and team Jacob (I think)? It's gotten to the point now where I can't talk to a girl, a teenager (well, that's court ordered), or watch a Burger King commercial without having a pop culture blank stare. When did I slide off the road of the "everyone knows about it" freeway?
As I write this, I'm downloading bootlegged movies filled with half naked pasty white barely legal teenage boys in an effort to have more fluid conversations with girls. I remember when paying for things, opening car doors, cracking a decent joke, and lying your ass off was enough to impress the ladies. I'm getting too old for this shit.
goochout.
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