Adam and Eve, not Adam and... Gooch?

I now pronounce you: Spank Bank material.

I can't believe that the religious wackos are still protesting same sex marriage. They should, rather, protest dysfunctional hetero marriages. Which is more detrimental to society? A quiet gay couple next door or Charlie fucking Sheen holding a knife to his wife's throat?



Too many people that have no business getting married are doing so without any oversight while gays in functional relationships are given shit for wanting to commit to one person for the rest of their lives?

"Are you willing to forsake all others, and all bath houses?"

I think that instead of persecuting the pillow biters and berating the bean flickers for wanting to enter into some sort of recognized union we should instead impose a qualification process for all people wanting to get married. That's right - no more quickie Vegas weddings and it should take a little more than signing a sheet of paper and having some asshole internet minister read the vows so you can go off and have more kids than your trailer can hold and put 911 on speed dial because "he only hits me when he's drunk."

Stricter qualifications for a couple of any sexual orientation is necessary to prevent not only domestic violence, but also the conception of kids into a fucked up family dynamic. Eventually, the reduction of ill-advised marriages would save lives and reduce crime by not creating the wife beating environment that leads to raising the fucking asshole kids that grow up ultimately steal your car stereo and beat domestic animals (you know, for example).

What's the real issue with the gays, anyways? Is it because they commit unnatural sex acts? Join the fucking club. Is is because same sex couples can't reproduce? There's already too many people on Earth. Same sex marriage is like an overpopulation solution in itself. Let the gays get married and adopt the children languishing in orphanages domestically and in third world countries.

Quite frankly, on the topic of unnatural sex acts: I love blow jobs. Call me a biolagical mistake or a deviant, just make sure my dick is in your mouth while you say it. I don't think my desire for a knob slob puts me in an exclusive club, most dudes are into them, I'm sure. However, It's a slippery slope (no, that's not the name of a gay Asian porn video, or is it?) from hetero oral sex to full on Liberace getting a rimmer from George Michael in a rest area bathroom gay sex.

So, if you're worried about same sex marriages, give it a rest. Focus, rather, on improving existing marriages and make it so that future unions are forged with the best intentions and are more likely to last.

gooch:out