Does John Gallucci strike you as the type of guy that would sleep with your wife?
Um... he strikes me as the type of guy that would sleep with pretty much anyone.
Conversation that really happened? You betcha! I need to happen upon a burning orphanage and pull something like 100 babies out of it so that I might find myself on the short list to Heaven.
I've actually been a good person. I'm trying my best to comfort the afflicted, as opposed to afflicting the comforted. I do good things. Dammit.
I've still got a shit-ton full of "I [club] Baby Seals" bumper stickers, should anyone want one, just let me know.
I drank this last weekend, but I haven't been drinking a lot lately. I was talking to this girl and I could tell that every god damned thing coming out of my mouth sounded stupid with a hint of slurring. It's weird when you become drunkenly self aware of things that are happening. Like, I've known when I'm talking a lot of shit and fully deserving of the inevitable ass kicking that I'll be receiving. My body, and more specifically, my mouth keep moving while my brain is screaming from the inside: "shut the fuck up, asshole!"
Work summons me. Out.
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