At the 11:11

Why are there so many caffeinated beverages on the market today? Are we as a society really in need of more energy options? When did we get so fucking tired?

In an age of automated everything and lethargy becoming the stateful flavor of our generation, is there a need for more energy?

[maybe I need more energy to complete a sentence without an effing question mark?]

There's something wrong with this trend. When Jolt Cola came out in the 80s, I consumed it daily during middle school. Why? Because it was different and it was questionable whether school administrators wanted students drinking such a beverage. Now, the floodgates have opened. And why not? Caffeine is addictive and when you get someone hooked on an addictive product, well, ask any drug dealer how that works out. I used to get free energy drinks from promotional workers while walking the streets of downtown Portland.

Give it away first, and then charge for it. Gangsta marketing.

I love that there's not only a 5-Hour energy shot, but some other company came out with a 6-Hour energy shot in the same style bottle. As if the 5-Hour energy people are kicking themselves for not thinking of that extra hour and R&D are putting together a secret recipe for... wait for it... 7-Hour evergy shot (that's '7-Hour' with a capital '7'].

The ubiquity of caffeinated beverages has worked its way into the arrythmic hearts of boozers everywhere with the addition of alcohol to soda brands like "Red Bull" and "Rock Star." Before, when drinking, the asshole effect of overindulgence was tempered with the sleepiness common to the depressive nature of alcohol. Add guarana, taurine, and god-knows-what-else to the mix and you have brain-dead zombies looking to pick a fight, have semi-consensual sex, or just tell the person next to him or her how much they love them.

I guess I'm saying that since we're not doing anything more to require more energy, maybe we shouldn't consume more energy inducing products. It's okay to go to bed at a decent hour and wake up naturally in the morning. Sure, there are moments that require us to stay up late/wake up early, but drinking this shit like it's water is not the way to go/despite being marketed as such.

goochout.

Bedroom Fridge (April 2010)