Monsters of Gooch

Salaam, bitches.

You know how when a couple is expecting a baby and they start building a little nursery in their house and start, in a sense "nesting?" I'm rearranging my office in anticipation of my own, special, adorable bundle of joy.

I'm building a computer which will be the first new computer I've purchased in nearly ten years. The financial justification has transpired as follows:

If I was a real adult and had kids, they might have needed braces by now. This computer is being purchased using braces money.

I should have gotten about 300 DUIIs in the course of my life. If I paid the full price for each one of those, it would have cost me approximately 2.7 million dollars. This computer is only a small fraction of that.

You get the idea.

UPDATE: The system is here. It's installed, and it's awesome. I did go a little "budget" on a few things: Kept my old video card, Core i7 860 processor, only 6GB of RAM (I can upgrade), 74GB Western Digital Raptor hard drive. I have Windows 7 Professional 64 bit and Virtual Machine running Mac OSX 10.6.3 (the latest). This means that I have an entire computer running inside a window inside my computer. It's a mind fuck to some (me included) but a technology I've embraced. I haven't left the front of this computer in four five six hours. I haven't had to go to the bathroom because I haven't eaten anything in a while. I'm thinking about hopping in the car, in my pajamas, and getting drive thru. UPDATE: Drank wine and had a couple breakfast bars. passing out soon.

UPDATE AGAIN: What a waste of a post. It was written in bits and pieces on five different computers and three different operating systems. Which makes it interesting only to me.

Since this post is technology-ish, I'm going to give you some pointers on technology (read: payoff)...

• Never store digital pictures of yourself on your computer having sex.
•  If you're a guy, never store digital pictures of yourself on your computer having sex unless your face is obscured.
• If she's ugly, never store digital pictures of yourself on your computer having sex unless both of your faces are obscured.
• If she's fat, put the camera away. Asshole.
• You can tell if you have compromising pictures of yourself on your computer if you send your computer to be repaired and instead of an invoice, you get a couple of twenties.
• Or a phone number.
• Or both.
• Never write anything that you are afraid anyone might read. Unless it's on this site... your secrets are safe here. Email, IMs, texts... all of it can be retrieved.
• Always back up your data. Hard drives are like goldfish, old people, and celebrities  during the last 24 months: They fucking die. If it matters to you, have copies of it on at least two different places/media.
• Fuck Geek Squad. Don't let them near anything that you don't want damaged/lost/stolen/broken.
• Don't buy the extended warranty. It's a gamble, but seldom do you really receive the benefits promised when you signed up. Instead, make sure you understand and have a copy of the manufacturer's warranty, which is usually more adequate than the salesperson would have you know.
• If it's on the internet, it's free, and it benefits your life in some way: be careful. Nothing on the internet is truly free or without consequences.

 Back to work. Sunny and 72 outside in Portland, OR. Why would I want to spend a Saturday anywhere else other than a flourescent lit office working on computers?

goochout