John "Gooch" Gallucci is the greatest African-American writer of the twentieth century

- David Manning, Ridgefield Press

Sony Agrees To Pay $326,000 For Phony Reviews

Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal announced Tuesday that he had reached an agreement with Sony Pictures Entertainment concerning complaints that it used phony reviews from a Connecticut paper to promote several of its films. Sony has admitted that the "David Manning" of the Ridgefield Press, a small Connecticut weekly, was actually the creation of its publicity department. Blumenthal said Tuesday that Sony has agreed to pay the state a fine of $326,000, to stop fabricating movie reviews, and to stop using TV commercials in which Sony employees and actors pose as ordinary moviegoers to praise the company's films. In a statement, Blumenthal said, "These deceptive ads deserve two thumbs down." (imdb.com)

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Rosie O'Donnell has intimated that she is, in fact, a lesbian. It's times like this when you know that in the not so distant future you'll think about where you were and what you were doing when Rosie O'Donnell came out of the closet and you found out that she was gay.

I know where I was;I was in a bar, on my sixth pint of Pabst, talking to someone about how much of a lesbian Rosie O'Donnell was.

< Noelle Bush after being arrested for attempting to use bogus prescription slips to obtain Xanax
< A man shot to death in the middle of Downtown Portland, OR after a fight over a bottle of Xanax.

The shooting death occurred dangerously close to me (see the log below). I'm a big fan of Xanax. I crumble it up and sprinkle it over cereal. I mix it in with my Tic-Tacs. I never thought that goddamned Xanax could lead to criminal behavior. It leads to fucking apathy. That's it. Why a shooting? I mean, I can kind of see what the fuss is about. While the headlines here in Portland are asking "Where is the shooter" (who, as I write this is still at large) I was asking if anyone saw where the bottle of Xanax went... like maybe they dropped it or something.

While society goes right to hell, I feel the need to bring out an old favorite of mine... a classic from back when I wrote columns instead of these stupid logs.

Click HERE FOR THE XANAX SPEECH

I'M ALRIGHT

--The story of my brush with death

PORTLAND -- A man was shot Monday morning following a fight near Pioneer Courthouse Square. The shooting occured no more than five blocks away from where John "Gooch" Gallucci, self proclaimed writer was in his car, looking for a place to park.

Says Gallucci: "I was going to a meeting at 1st and Ash at 11:30am. I mean... that could have been me." When asked if he heard the shots, Gallucci said "no, but I heard about it on the news on my way back to work.

Two men were reportedly arguing about 11:45 a.m. in the middle of Broadway between Southwest Morrison and Alder in downtown Portland when the suspect pulled a gun and shot the victim several times.

Witnesses tell KOIN 6 News that the suspect fired six times and then pointed the gun at the victim’s head while he was on the ground. The suspect then walked away and got in a vehicle. By this time, Gallucci had in fact made it back to work.

A KOIN photographer working on a nearby story captured the sound of the shots on tape. She ran to the scene and found the victim on the ground (pictured, above).

An off-duty paramedic who helped the victim says that he was shot in the leg, stomach and back. She said that he was in and out of consciousness.

The witness says that the men were arguing over a bottle of medication.

Gallucci, who is himself on medication, considers himself very lucky. "When you come as close to danger, as I did today, you can't help but wonder what would have happened if I was, say, five blocks closer and ten minutes earlier?"

I was perusing imdb.com and came across this disturbing fact in the "trivia" section of the E.T. entry:

Spielberg is reported to have spent $100,000 digitally removing guns from the 2002 20th Anniversary re-release of the movie to appease gun-hating star Drew Barrymore.

Drew Barrymore is a goddamned idiot.

This guy should work for Nasa... Click HERE

Just spent another week at Microsoft Boot Camp. Round three is next week. I've thought of a new product, though...

Not since chocolate and peanut butter have two ingredients (rum and cola) gone so great together.

Meanwhile, I'm watching a Magician show on television and it just occurred to me that every magician looks like the grownup version of the kids I saw playing Dungeons and Dragons in middle school. What happened to making a rabbit jump out of a hat? The fire, choreography and the theatrics are lost on me.

You'll notice that the webcam isn't really doing anything. That's because there is no webcam. I just haven't yanked the link yet. I haven't updated the page much, but I've been too busy with school and rolling my fat ass to the gym.

NBC is doing a tribute to John Belushi next Monday. Sweet. The other networks could show hours and hours of interracial midget porn and it wouldn't goddamned matter... I'd watch the Belushi show. I'd tape the midget porn, but I'd definitely watch Belushi.