Emotion is the worst sexually transmitted disease. -me
******
CNN: Man torches BMW to protest high gas prices
That's dedication to a cause - torching your own car to protest the price of gas. I'm inspired. Later today I'm going to repeatedly slam a file-cabinet drawer on my dick to protest the high teen pregnancy rate. That'll show 'em!
******
Heath Ledger is getting great reviews for his performance in Dark Knight. Yeah... like anyone in their right minds would bash him. Death in your prime is truly the best career move ever.
******
Where's my file cabinet...?
goochout
Friday, June 27, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
I had someone walk on my back last night in an effort to make my hand feel better. It actually hurts like hell, but feeling is good; hopefully I'll be back to normal.
This sucks, because my right hand is the one that types all of the good stuff. The left hand is responsible for proofreading/fact checking. My hands are the true genius behind this site. My head simply sways back and forth with my eyes rolled into the back of my head while a blog is being created.
It's true... look it up. I look like I'm doing a bad Stevie Wonder impression right now as I type this. When I hit "Publish Post" I'll likely faint for a split second and then wonder aloud "what happened." Then I'll type http://www.goochonline.com into a browser and read for the first time what my hands wrote.
Awesome!
Left Hand: Out
Right Hand: owut@!ut
Gooch: what's he have to do with any of it?
This sucks, because my right hand is the one that types all of the good stuff. The left hand is responsible for proofreading/fact checking. My hands are the true genius behind this site. My head simply sways back and forth with my eyes rolled into the back of my head while a blog is being created.
It's true... look it up. I look like I'm doing a bad Stevie Wonder impression right now as I type this. When I hit "Publish Post" I'll likely faint for a split second and then wonder aloud "what happened." Then I'll type http://www.goochonline.com into a browser and read for the first time what my hands wrote.
Awesome!
Left Hand: Out
Right Hand: owut@!ut
Gooch: what's he have to do with any of it?
Monday, June 23, 2008
I have a pinched nerve in my back. It's causing numbness in my hand. On one hand (literally) it sucks because I am having a hard time typing. On the other, I can't feel my hand when I masturbate, so it's like I'm not the one doing it. I used to have to sit on my arm for like 10 minutes for that shit to happen.
Heh.
goochout
Heh.
goochout
Sunday, June 22, 2008
George Carlin: Dead at 71
I recently watched a George Carlin stand up performance filmed in 1976. I wasn't his biggest fan, but I appreciated the genius that went into a lot of his material. while the counter-culture stuff might have been lost on my generation, his appearances in the recent Kevin Smith films proves that he was more far reaching as an entertainer than I'd given him credit for in the past. It's certainly sad that he's gone.
"Seven Words" comedy bit below, NSFW:
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Even the Ancient Romans spent time not getting laid.
Christie's auction: Ancient 20-sided die
Could it be that ancient Dungeons and Dragons games (called back then: 'shit that happens currently') are the reason that ancient civilizations ceased to exist?
Could it be that ancient Dungeons and Dragons games (called back then: 'shit that happens currently') are the reason that ancient civilizations ceased to exist?
What's my excuse for not getting laid?
goochout
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Big Lebowski Action Figure set.
I guess THIS is better than my action figure set. I suppose.
The Dude drinks a stiff caucasian... and I am a stiff caucasian.
out.
gooch.
Monday, June 16, 2008
I was listening to the radio today and there was a breaking story about a child abduction. The reporter noted that the police considered the suspect "armed and dangerous."
Wouldn't "armed" sort of imply "dangerous?" I mean, has there ever been a situation where the suspect was armed, but not necessarily dangerous?
"...he should be considered armed, but he won't have the balls to pull the trigger, so citizens are encouraged to confront him should the situation arise."
******
I was driving in North Portland around midnight recently and made some observations. The first observation was that I clearly needed to get the fuck out of North Portland. For those of you who aren't from Portland: Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard is located there.
You know the movie "I Am Legend" is about a black guy who gets attacked by a bunch of really white people after it gets dark outside? I felt like I was in the exact opposite scenario when my lonely white ass was cruising down MLK at midnight. Amazing... I'm in the poorest part of town, yet I seldom saw a car that retailed for under $50k. I even drove past a fancy building that houses the "European Cosmetology Institute." I assure you that I was the only European within a three mile radius.
******
I'm coming down with some sort of illness. The only bright spot on this situation is that I get to, in good conscience, drink copious amounts of DayQuil. Viva La 'Quil!
******
goochout!
Wouldn't "armed" sort of imply "dangerous?" I mean, has there ever been a situation where the suspect was armed, but not necessarily dangerous?
"...he should be considered armed, but he won't have the balls to pull the trigger, so citizens are encouraged to confront him should the situation arise."
******
I was driving in North Portland around midnight recently and made some observations. The first observation was that I clearly needed to get the fuck out of North Portland. For those of you who aren't from Portland: Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard is located there.
You know the movie "I Am Legend" is about a black guy who gets attacked by a bunch of really white people after it gets dark outside? I felt like I was in the exact opposite scenario when my lonely white ass was cruising down MLK at midnight. Amazing... I'm in the poorest part of town, yet I seldom saw a car that retailed for under $50k. I even drove past a fancy building that houses the "European Cosmetology Institute." I assure you that I was the only European within a three mile radius.
******
I'm coming down with some sort of illness. The only bright spot on this situation is that I get to, in good conscience, drink copious amounts of DayQuil. Viva La 'Quil!
******
goochout!