Friday, September 20, 2002

If you think that I'm resting on my laurels (not the "laurel" that I had sex with in the 'Mr. America' column in the COLUMNS section) because I kicked out a considerable amount of content this week... you're absolutely right. Two columns last week: soak 'em in. Usually while I'm watching the Anna Nicole Smith show on Sunday I start thinking of stuff to write about. She's my muse. A big, fat, slurring, idiotic, hick muse. And speaking of sex with my uncle, I'm going to the Ford dealer to get the oil in my truck changed. Have you ever taken a new car to the dealer for routine maintenance? Can't afford a new car? Me neither. That didn't stop me. Nonetheless... if you haven't taken a car to the dealer for service, bend over a couch and get sodomized by your Father-In-Law while he puts his cigarette out on your lower back. It's real painful at first, but you get used to it after a while.

If you're at work today (not like me), and need something to read, check out Mike Jasper and his light, good-hearted writings. Or you could go to The NetWits and pick from a plethora of internet columnists.

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