GOOCHONLINE - Since 1999

My God. I think I'm dying. Flu has set in. Much work to do this week. I still reign supreme as the busiest unemployed guy on the planet. I've got three places to be before noon tomorrow. Every muscle in my body aches. I have a friend coming over to give me a back rub. No, I won't tell you his name. Just kidding; it's a chick. Even in sickness, I'm cracking the predictable jokes. I'm checking IDs at Skyland this Thursday and Saturday. Instead of using hand stamps as proof of admission, I'm going to spray people's white T-shirts with Chloraseptic. If I have any left. Sore throat, stuffy head, puffy eyes. I look like death without the dignity or Cher without the makeup.

THIS IS MY FACE ON NYQUIL