I have an idea... Print the restraining orders directly on Kevlar vests. Screen-print it, I don't care. People are nuts, an 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper isn't good enough.
If I didn't have sex with my wife and she comes to me and says she's pregnant with the son of God, I'd be reluctant to believe her. Maybe it's a change of sociological and psychological views between nine-months B.C. and now. Maybe I'm just bitter with relationships. Maybe I'm going to hell for writing this. That divine intervention stuff doesn't happen anymore like it used to. Back then a burning bush was a religious phenomenon; now it's a symptom of VD. Was the birth of Christ immaculate conception or the result of a cheating wife's elaborate lie? Was Christianity born from one careless night with a ranch-hand in a manger? Christ: The Unauthorized Biography
This week on Fox, if it was a real show.
Directed by Mel Gibson, if it was a real show.
April 1st today. I turn 30 this month. Fuck.
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