GOOCHPOURRI
Today I've listened to Dr. Laura, watched Dr. Phil, and now I'm watching Maury. Maury: Paternity tests revealed!
Out late last night, no sleep. The nightmares have ended though which is good, because they sucked.
Sometimes my life is a nightmare, just without the clowns , carnies, and midgets running around.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT: MSNBC: Boy starts breathing as he's prepped for funeral.
I need one nap or two lines, whichever comes first.
I'm watching Maury right now. Some of these paternity test cases are so, so white trash that I'm surprised they didn't do maternity tests also. If I was Maury, I'd ask "in what year Chevy Nova were your children born?"
GOOCH WATCHING MAURY... MY BRAIN IS FUCKING MELTING RIGHT NOW... I CAN'T LOOK AWAY
I'm not napping today. I'm armed with Red Bulls, so it's on.
Tomorrow on Maury: Tall skinny men who have sex with big fat chicks.
Watched Intolerable Cruelty today.
Gooch (The Personal Finance Tip): If your significant other flies you out to the Maury Povich show, it means your relationship will end shortly after; start looking for a new place to live before the trip to NY. I love that people fly their boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife out to New York to announce to a nationwide audience that they've been cheating.
I've been using tanning booths since 1990 and have never burned my penis. I've often wondered "why does my penis not burn in the tanning beds?" Whoops... happened today. I don't need condoms with spermicide, I need condoms with aloe vera.
Working at Skyland Pub tonight.
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