GOOCHONLINE - Since 1999

Post Script: This morning I was almost run off the road by two enormous trucks (welcome to Troutdale, baby). Two different times; I guess meth doesn't wear off until later in the morning? I always say that guys buy big trucks and SUVs to compensate for their small penises. "Gooch," you ask "why did you buy a small SUV?" To make my penis look bigger by comparison. Look at those bags under my eyes [see picture below]. I look like Al Pacino in "Insomnia," without the facelifts that make him always look surprised. I want to sleep so bad, but I can't and I have work to do. Whine, whine, whine.

GOOCH: out.