Why don't we just mace the fuck out of the little bastards while we're at it? Maybe Blair should have "hot sauced" Natalie every time she opened a quart of Haggen Daz? Maybe I'm the biggest fucking asshole on the planet? Maybe I didn't fucking sleep last night? Maybe the latte I had three hours ago is making my gut feel like it was the guest of honor at a boot party?
Where are the Bush twins when I need them?
"Jenna... did you see that picture of Gooch with Jenna Jameson? I'm so Jealous!
I need to pop a xanax (like Noelle Bush, my other favorite) and fucking crash. I'm living la vida stupid.
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