Joined a new gym last night. It's going to make leaving my former gym similar to a breakup with a girl. "It's not you guys... you've been great. It's just... there's someone else. Closer, and with better amenities. I know it hurts you to think that I took our relationship on a month to month basis but that I did, in fact, sign up for a year with this new gym. You're hurt now, but you'll move on. You have plenty of other members. Don't say anything else... it'll just make this more painful... for both of us. Please... walk away... I'm tires of using ellipses..."
Bought my first Christmas tree since moving in to Wood Village three years ago. It's artificial with white lights. I thought about decorating it with empty Red Bull cans, but I'll opt for something more traditional. Like Coors Light cans.
[As I sit at my kitchen table in front of a laptop and the morning funny pages]
I've pretty much had enough of "The Family Circus." I mean, is there anything creepier about a grown man simply making up cute shit that kids say? Oh, I get it - Billy said "pasketti" instead of spaghetti. So did the second to last stripper I dated [true story... she really said it]. I guess a funnier comic would be my "Dysfunctional Family Circus" where it's just me, my alcoholic friends, some strippers, and a liquor cabinet. This comic would be a one panel like Family Circus except it'd have a hot stripper saying shit like "Daddy says that if he uses a condom, I'll still be a virgin!" and "Do you want to sell me some muskel relaxers?" You get it? She said muskel instead of muscle! Laughter abound!
2 comments:
"Uncle Gooch, are you my real uncle?"
"No, Billy. Your mom is a Stripper. Therefore, all of her male friends are 'Uncle' to you, Billy."
re-edited??? I am shocked.
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