Happy Birthday Britney Spears: You've accomplished more than most of America has at 25. You've had and put in the way of physical harm more of your children than most 25 year-olds, and the entire world has now seen your vagina. You skank. Instead of using those huge milk bags to feed your children, you're pushing them out of your dress and getting fucked up with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan every night. So... alone you three are nothing, but together you are, in fact, the Three Skanketeers? Do you decide in advance and take turns as to who is going to beav shot the paparazzi while getting out of the car?
You might lose... I mean seriously... you might lose your kids to Kevin Federline. A court in the United States might actually find him more suitable a parent than you. Buy a car seat you bitch. If he gets the kids, it'll mean palimony (my favorite word, ever) checks to him. He'll probably roll the first check into a tube so he and his buddies can take turns snorting blow through it while a $12/hour illegal immigrant watches your kids.
And could the media limit themselves to only, say, ONE reference to "Oops I Did it Again" in their coverage of Britney Spears? If I see a story about her with the headline "She Did it Again!" or "She's Not That Innocent!" I'm really going to go out of my fucking mind.
As opposed to right now, when I'm normal.
Gotta go to work. goochout.
2 comments:
that's the first time i have ever heard you complain about seeing some pussy for free...are you going to start voting republican and going to church too?
Church? Republican? Gooch? In the same reference? Whoa! I need a drink now.
Gooch has enemies behind the cloak of anonymity...
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