Ah... the weekend.

Monroe (WA) prisoner amputates his own penis.

When asked what it felt like, the prisoner said "like marriage, but less expensive."

Hey-ooooooo.

Danica Patrick: Doesn't drive for NASCAR, is still a piece of ass. I stand corrected.
I thought it was all NASCAR. I'm not very smart. My penis is, though.
Because it wants to have sex with Danica Patrick.

Apologies to anyone offended by my NASCAR jab yesterday. I didn't intend on hurting anyone's feelings. Honestly, I didn't know you guys could get on the internet. How's that dial-up account treating you.

Ha!

Of course, the trailer parks are going to start migrating from 56k dialup to high speed, thanks to the Portland rollout of Clearwire wireless internet service.

I like the Clearwire advertising strategy. They've put simple ads throughout the Metro area that state things like "This isn't a bus stop, it's a place to get wireless internet." Or something like that. "This isn't a billboard, it's a place to get wireless internet," and a truck with a full scale model of a living room in its plexiglass enclosed bed that reads "This isn't a living room, it's a place to get wireless internet."

Pretty clever. They should hand this ad campaign over to me to, you know, squeeze some more life out of it:

[In a strip club]: This isn't a place to pay strippers $20 a song to grind their knee in your crotch, it's a place to get wireless internet.

[Outside the bath house on 10th avenue in Portland]: This isn't a place for anonymous gay sex, it's a place to get wireless internet.

[On a sign next to Johnson Creek in Portland]: This isn't a place to dump a dead hooker, it's a place to get wireless internet.

[Outside Portland's City Hall]: This isn't a a place to fuck an 18(ish) year-old intern, it's a place to get wireless internet.

[Outside a club]: This isn't a place to lie in an effort to get laid, it's a place to get wireless internet.

[On a side street in Northwest Portland]: This isn't a place to have a drunken piss at 3am, it's a place to get wireless internet.

Oh, it could go on. Laughs ahoy!

I gotta get back to work.

goochout.

There you go, Greg.
Happy Birthday, Kelli.