Ohhh.... Too Soon?

Like all of you, I've been personally devastated by the loss of Natasha Richardson. I mean, before she fell during that ill fated skiing lesson, I'd never heard of her. Since her death, I've been forced to deal with a moral dilemma.

How long after a woman dies is it okay to jerk off to her? I mean... she just died. If I'd been jerking off to her regularly prior to her death, then I think I'd be grandfathered in and I could just tug away. Since she's a new addition to my arsenal, however, I think I'll wait two weeks. It's a good length of time. I'm sure Liam Neeson will have started dating by then and I won't have to feel as guilty. There, the rule is set: Two Weeks Waiting Period After a Chick Dies. Mark your calendars.

******

I'm in Vegas right now. My friend Mike Henry and I are sharing a room with one bed and mirrors on the ceiling. Waking up to a mirrored image of Mike and I hung over in bed together could be the gayest experience of my life. Not that I've had a lot of gay experiences, but if I ever do have one... this will probably trump it.

******

"Do you remember me?" I was working in a closed office; one employee was in doing administrative work while I installed antivirus software on all of the office computers. She continued:

"We were at a party and someone took a picture of my chest and you snorted jello shots off of the picture."

Who the fuck am I to be snorting jello shots all of the time? How drunk am I at these parties? I only remember doing it one time and I've posted the pictures. Where's my career going that someone I don't remember tells me shit like that while I'm working? She told me she reads this site, so big shout out to Juggs McChesterton (I think that's her name). I'm more a fan of yours than you could ever be of me.

*****

Gotta go... have a big day of drinking, laying by a pool, and eye-fucking slutty tourists. I shouldn't be in a room typing this nonsense.

Out.